Repentance

A Lenten discipline

I am beginning this piece on the evening of Ash Wednesday (and no doubt it won’t get finished tonight), whilst listening to the beautiful Miserere by Gregorio Allegri. As a student I had the privilege of singing this every Ash Wednesday with my University Chapel Choir. I have added a recording by Tenebrae to the bottom of this post if you would like to listen.

The Miserere mei, Deus (Have mercy on me, O God) is a setting of Psalm 51, the great penitential psalm of David. David was ‘a man after God’s own heart’ and yet capable of great sin. This psalm of deep repentance and contrition was written after his adultery with Bathsheba and assassination of her husband.

Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. Psalm 51:1-2

David confesses his sin and acknowledges that God is justified in his judgement. He makes no excuses, but appeals to God’s mercy, compassion and unfailing love to cleanse him and restore him.

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Psalm 51:10-12

This should be our model for the start of Lent as we look towards the cross of the crucified Christ, who died so these verses could be prayed by sinners like you and me, as well as David. If we fix our eyes on Christ, the pure and sinless holy lamb of God, then we cannot help but recognise our wretched state, our grievous sin, our unclean heart and our selfish ways. The Book of Common Prayer confession refers to us as ‘miserable offenders’, and that is accurate.

In our self-obsessed culture which makes everything about ‘me’, it is far easier to see the sins of others than the failings of our own hearts. ‘Me time’, ‘my rights’, ‘my truth’, ‘follow your heart’, ‘love yourself’, ‘me, me, me …’

The Bible makes it very clear that these attitudes are the inverse of what is good for us and how we were designed and created to live. Instead of ‘me’ being the centre of my world, it should be God. Spend time with Him; He is righteous; He is the truth; we should follow Him and love Him; it is all about Him and not us. It is only when we put God at the centre of our lives that we will find all those things that we crave: peace, assurance, love, identity, purpose, forgiveness, life in all its fulness.

To those who may think Lent is a bit depressing, and the call to repentance is a bit extreme or negative, I would say it is at the heart of the gospel and necessary for it. Without repentance there is no salvation. If we do not recognise our sin then we can see no need for a Saviour. The Bible is clear:

Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand. Matthew 3:2 & Matthew 4:17

Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord … Acts 3:19

If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1: 8-9

Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. Revelation 3:19

I’ve been a Christian for a long time. In more recent years I became increasingly frustrated at my inability to live up to my own expectations. I was asking myself something along the lines of “If I have been a Christian for all these years, why do I still sin in the most basic ways? Why do I not seem to improve? Why do I still get so many things wrong?” … and then a voice would say “You call yourself a Christian … really? Does God really want you? Did God really say?…” The oldest deception in the book, literally! The enemy Satan will always try to deceive and twist what God says, and what better way to demoralise and disempower a believer than to make them question whether God really wants them or whether they are forgiven.

God so graciously showed me that as I mature and learn more, he will give me greater challenges and responsibilities, and when (not if) I stumble, he will help me. A greater understanding and acknowledgement of my own sin is not a sign of weakness or of failure, but of maturing. I am not the first to learn this lesson:

No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good. C.S. Lewis (Mere Christianity)

The more I look to a holy and perfect God, the more I will see my own flaws. This is the whole point of repentance: to recognise our sin, turn away from it and towards God, and to ask for his mercy and forgiveness. It can only come from a right view of God and a humble view of ourselves. I have found the ancient words of The Jesus Prayer particularly helpful:

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

A simple yet powerful prayer, it elevates the Lord and humbles me. Just as in Mary’s song, the Magnificat, when Mary magnified the Lord whilst recognising her lowly state:

My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Saviour, for he has looked on the humble estate of his servant. Luke 1: 46-48

So as we begin this season of Lent, let us turn to God with repentant and humble hearts. Let us pray for ourselves, our families, our communities and our nation, asking for God’s mercy and forgiveness. The Lenten challenge is for us all, and for our churches. If we get repentance right, then many good things will likely follow: forgiveness, restoration, renewal, transformation, revival, righteousness, healing and holiness.

I will finish with the prayer of confession from the Book of Common Prayer:

Almighty and most merciful Father, we have erred and strayed from thy ways like lost sheep, we have followed too much the devices and desires of our own hearts, we have offended against thy holy laws, we have left undone those things which we ought to have done, and we have done those things which we ought not to have done, and there is no health in us: But though, O Lord, have mercy upon us miserable offenders; spare thou them, O God, which confess their faults, restore thou them that are penitent, according to thy promises declared unto mankind in Christ Jesu our Lord: And grant, O most merciful Father, for his sake, that we may hereafter live a godly, righteous, and sober life, to the glory of thy holy Name. Amen.